Tuesday, September 29, 2009

I Can Get It for You No Sale

HAPPY DAYS! I’m LIT’rally just off the plane from Florida. I took a trip down this weekend to spend time with my family for the holiest of all Jewish Ccchhhallah-days, Yom Kippur; the day of atonement traditionally observed by Jews with a twenty-five hour fast and extensive prayer in the synagogue. In the tradition of my family, however, it was observed with extensive drinking and a three-course meal at the Macaroni Grill. What can I say? Siamo molto cattivi poplo ebraico. (That means “we are very bad Jews” in Italian… I learned it in the bathroom of the Macaroni Grill on Yom Kippur.)

I’m thrilled to be back in New York, and even more so that autumn has begun to show her ass. I live for autumn, especially here. Of all the seasons, it gives me the greatest sense of renewal and fresh beginnings. Once Summer wraps up and the leaves begin to turn, I suddenly feel like a kid getting ready to start fifth grade, and all the happy back-to-school memories start flooding back; like brown-bagged peanut butter and jelly lunches and new school supplies and abortions...

Speaking of new beginnings and Jewish holidays, today is perhaps the holiest of them all… It is the official release date of Barbra's latest album "Love is the Answer." For this, I have been fasting since sundown yesterday. Though I have not yet heard the entire album, it's currently being illegally downloaded to my computer at home through one of those free pirating sites (a shanda, I realize, but Babs can do without my $10.) I'm so excited to get back and hear it that I'm seriously considering quitting my job.

Let's celebrate with this gorg clip of Barbra on Oprah last week, looking gorg and sounding gorg. (Please, Christ, I hope I look this good when I'm Barbra Streisand.)

*Please note the "Inside Death Row" chyron on the bottom right of the Barbra video. I paid extra for that.

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