Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Shvitz and Ass

I’m baaaaack! A year older, a bit wiser, and at least 63% more alcohol content than your average blogger. Yes – I just celebrated my [DELETED BY AUTHORITY OF THE GOVERNOR]-th Birthday! And I did it no place other than Las Vegas! I’d never been before, if you can believe it. I had an absolutely marvelous time, and if I never go back there again in this lifetime I will be perfectly happy.

At 106 degrees every day, the heat was re-dick. Of course, everyone who lives there tries to justify the unbearable climate by incessantly explaining, “But it’s a dry heat. It’s dry. It’s heat… but it’s dry!! It’s not wet. It’s DRY heat! Dry heat, dry heat!!! IT’S DRY!”

Shut up. It’s effing hot. A dry 106 may keep your hair looking gorg, but you can’t breathe; you can’t blink; you just sweat wood pellets, and when you fart, sawdust comes out. Not comfortable. I’ll take a moist and sensible 80 any day. (But my hair did stay pretty gorg, you guys.)

Saw Jersey Boys, which has a phenomenal cast out there, and Peepshow – Jerry Mitchell’s raunchy burlesque extravaganza now starring my darling/the brilliant/the-one-and-only Shoshana Bean, who recently replaced Spice Girl Mel B. FIERCE, as the gays might say. The show was fantastic, and I insist you check it out the next time you’re in town. Although I saw far more titty than I’m sure god ever intended me to see, I had a bawwwll.

After the show, it was drinks in the Planet Hollywood hotel with Sho and the cast. Even the lovely Jerry Mitchell, who was in the audience, joined us for a bit. (I did not get drunk and perform the original choreography to “You Can’t Stop The Beat” for J-Mitch, as he did not ask. Instead, I just got drunk.)

Great Birthday! Happy to be back where I belong. Let’s end with some cute pics, mmmMMM? HIT THE LIGHTS!...

Here's Tituss (the Elvis to my Ann-Margret on our Vegas trip), Charl Brown (Jersey Boys), Shoshana, Moi, and Jackie Seiden (Peepshow) being gorg. (Oh, and there's Sho's cute little dog, shoved in her purse. Possibly dead.)

Here's me with the tall and pretty Erich Bergen who is BUH-RILLIANT as Bob Gaudio in Jersey Boys. Far more importantly, I was thrilled to learn that Erich is an avid reader of The Randy Rainbow Blahg! So we'll refer to him henceforth as my #1 West Coast fan. (He hates it when I call him that.)

Sho, me, and Charl giving you: CUTE.

And finally... Two of Broadway's finest serenade one of its drunkest, as the clock strikes 12 (Pacific time) and I officially turn 23 21 25 ugh, fine...28. Suck it.

1 comment:

Joseph Gomez said...

down here in south-central tx we're hitting 100+ everyday. and it's humid. but still we are suffering from a drought.

it effin blows ass.