Sonny in the Morning and a Mood at Night

This morning, when the alarm went off on my clock radio, it was to the tune of Sonny Bono singing, “Then put your little hand in mine…” Isn’t that the exact place the song starts every morning for Bill Murray in “Groundhog Day”??? It figures. I’ve been in such a rut lately. Life seems trapped in a revolving door, and everything’s just repetition.

Anyway…This morning, when the alarm went off on my clock radio, it was to the tune of Sonny Bono singing, “Then put your little hand in mine…” Isn’t that the exact place the song starts every morning for Bill Murray in “Groundhog Day”? It figures. I need a little adventure in my life – and fast! I gotta break out, ya hear?!?! (WHADDYA MEAN I AIN’T GETTING 88 CENTS OUTTA YOU???)

Days like today make me want to just lay in bed – remote in one hand, bucket of fried chicken in the other, and no bra. It’s an absolutely hideous, rainy day here in New York, and I’m just about over it. Getting around this dump is hard enough as it is. Days like this only make things eleven hundred times more impossible. New Yorkers are like Gremlins; they seem to multiply by the hundreds when hit with a little bit of water. And each batch becomes more hysterical and unattractive than the last. I mean, it’s rain. You’d think we’d be used to it by now. It’s not even horribly torrential. But even the slightest change in weather around here robs people completely of their bearings and basic human functionality. Get a grip, people! And get the bawllz outta my way!

Of course schmuck walking in front of me this morning was further holding up my life by playing video games on his iPhone . “Ya miiiiiiiiind, Buddy??,” I bellowed three octaves below my normal range, “I’m trynna freakin’ waaaawwwwwk ovah heeeee!” I’m not sure where the voice came from, and I’ve never called anyone “buddy” before, but I was extremely impressed by my performance. I love how - no matter our origins, and no matter how dainty or homosexual - after living in this town a few years, we all inevitably turn into the same disgruntled asshole cabdriver from the Bronx. I think it’s cute.

I’m trying to be more positive in ’09, and not let things upset me so much. (How my doing so far?) I’ve also resolved that as well as being my most productive year to date, this will be the year in which I make a devoted and long-overdue effort to not be so hard on myself. I will teach myself once and for all that I am great exactly as I am; I do not require validation from others; and as long as I remain true to myself, there will always be people who love and support me. I pray that you’ll remind yourselves of these things daily. I invite you all to join me in making 2009 a celebration of self! (*Of course, this only applies to those of you who are actually great as you are… Those of you not attractive or interesting enough to feel validated without the acceptance of others will have to go a different route, and work much harder. You know who you are.)

TO US!