Thursday, January 3, 2008

Gotta Dance

My, but it's cold! (Or...My butt: It's cold.) We here in New York are facing the coldest day of the year so far, with temperatures peaking in the low 20's - How embarrassing?! Getting out of bed this morning was a murderous, torturous, hideous nightmare. Now, although I don't have to be up and in the shower until 7:15 every morning, I like to set my alarm to go off at about 2AM because I need a good 5 hours to Snooze, at least. That's usually just enough prep time for me. But today, when that sonofabitch clock shrieked its final warning, I gave it Sally Field's funeral monologue from Steel Magnolias. ("I wanna know WHY! WHYYYYYYYY?!?!?!") Though fans, critics, and my cat would all agree that the performance was Oscar-worthy, it did not earn me any extra minutes in the sack.

I thought of every possible reason to stay home today, and even called in to work to tell them that my Restless Legs Syndrome had flared up. They did not deem it an acceptable explanation for my absence, and insisted I come in anyway. As a result of my outbreak, I've been dancing Martha Graham's Temptations of the Moon through the office all morning. It's terribly embarrassing and uncomfortable for everyone involved, but completely beyond my control. I hope they're satisfied. Restless Legs Syndrome (or RLS, for those of you on the go) is a serious illness, and not to be taken lightly. Especially when you have legs for days! I suppose next time I will have to supply administration with a signed note from my choreographer.

Meanwhile, it's the third day of the new year and I have to tell you - I'm not impressed. I hope somebody kept the receipt(?) I mean, I guess I had high hopes that great things would come in '08 and I'm just not seeing the results. There is also the pesky residue of Holiday Cheer all around, and people are still being kind and courteous and spreading good wishes everywhere I go. New York - Can we please hurry up and get back to being constantly miserable to one another? I miss that about us.

There are some good sales still going on, however. As I type, I have just been emailed an exclusive, After-New Year, limited-time offer to receive a 1-year membership to a gym in the city for ONLY 1,000 dollars. That made me swallow my hard candy. I happen to know the lovely owners there and I'm sure it's a great gym and I wish them well and blah...But my fantastic little gym in Astoria costs only 250 for the year, and that includes toilet paper. Of course there are no weights or equipment or anything. You just have to hope that the only other existing member will show up when you do so you can lift each other. A few of you fancy Sports-Clubbers may scoff, but it works for me and José Miguel.

I'm gonna go nuke my face in the microwave. (Would you say I'm more "popcorn" or "frozen pizza"?...)


Zach said...


Kris said...

Im gonna say neitehr, i think your more of a pot pie.... everything that is OH SO good, all in one HOT package.

Benjamin said...

broadway rhythm its got me - everybody dance!