Tuesday, October 30, 2007

How the Other Half Lives

Dear Diary...
It's a good day so far. On the Today Show, they reported that because of recent widespread early detection of Autism in children, there have been some exciting and hopeful new developments in treatment, which I was happy to hear. So, that...Plus I just started using a fantastic new moisturizer, and it's really working out for me. Looks like a lot of people are making some great progress these days. It's just been a really positive morning.

Last night was the "Very-Cole-Porter" Salon Fundraiser for Broadway Cares. Such a special evening. It was held at this ritzy guy's fancy apartment on Central Park South. It reminded me a lot of my place, except it was huge, and gorgeous, and decorated, and there was food in the refrigerator, and I wanted to live there. And the view overlooked Central Park instead of a homeless man peeing onto a Mexican restaurant. OH, and Joy Behar, Letterman's Paul Shaffer, and one of the guys from IL DIVO were in the living room. My apartment doesn't have that. Joy was a sweetheart, and looked even better in person. Although, when I mentioned that I'd forgotten to TiVo The View yesterday and told her to redo "Hot Topics" for us, she just walked away. I thought she could have been more gracious. I must admit, I wound up snooping around the place a bit. There were so many beautiful things everywhere. How could I resist? I saw this exquisite lamp in a hallway and thought to myself, This person has impeccable taste. Something like that would look great in my bedroom. It was a bitch getting it past the doorman and onto the train, but it does. It looks perfect in my bedroom.

The evening was hosted by Spamalot's hilarious Chris Sieber, and featured the talents of Jose Llana from Spelling Bee, The Three Graces (Sara Gettelfinger, Joy Kabanuck, and Kelly Levesque), and Lucie Arnaz, all standing around the piano, belting out showtunes. The upstairs neighbors must have been pissed. It was exciting to see Lucie Arnaz, who's absolutely gorgeous in person. She kinda looks exactly like...like if that couple from "I LOVE LUCY" had a daughter...That could be her. It's eerie. Sirius Radio Host Seth Rudetsky was also there, and half way through the evening brought us all over to the television to show us clips from the Tonys and make fun of Patti LuPone. It was (if I may) "Amahzing". The Little Mermaid's Norm Lewis performed one of the loveliest renditions of "This is the Moment" I've heard. And later, in a more private moment (or so he thought), Norm got playful and he and his friend joined at the hip to spoof Alice Ripley and Emily Skinner in an impromptu chorus of "I Will Never Leave You" from Sideshow. I thought, Hey Norm - I used to do that bit at parties too. When I was like 12, and you were actually in Sideshow.It was a full-circle moment, as I later told my friend Oprah. Mr. Lewis is a handsome fella indeed. He and I would have beautiful babies together...(If this current administration didn't deny me the right to bair children simply because I do not have ovaries!...Sorry, Diary. I don't mean to get political.)

It was also a real treat to meet so many of my admirers. For them, especially. And believe me, Diary, I was surrounded. That sort of crazy attention is only slightly embarrassing, but I guess it comes with the territory, right? I mean, this is the life I've chosen for myself. I tell you, the most important thing I'm learning from this sudden new-found world-wide fame and success (and it's a day-to-day process) is how to separate my genuine fans from those people who've been using me all these years for my friendship, and subsequently weed out those users. Because the fact is that I don't need to be bogged down with unnecessary friendships right now. What I need is a fan base. Anyway, because of timing issues, I was not able to perform my song last night, and that is OK. I'm all for taking a step back now and then to give the Lucy Arnazes of the world a chance to shine. And I'm pretty sure everyone in attendance could tell that I was performing in spirit.

It was a fun time. I think I'm gonna go back to that ritzy guy's fancy apartment again tonight. I wasn't invited or anything, but if they have that much fun over there on a Monday night, just imagine what must go on the rest of the week.

Bye, Diary. Call me later.

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