Monday, October 22, 2007

Digging the Dancing Queen (or "Thoroughly Happy Homo", Part 2)

Well, last week was my big interview with the one and only Sutton Foster, and it went smashingly! She was absolutely lovely and I was even lovelier. This marks my very first official interview ever, and I couldn't have asked for a better subject. Truth is, I'd been saving myself for Sutton and in hindsight, I'm really glad she was my first. I did her in her dressing room before the show, it took 20 minutes, and I was out. She was extremely gentle with me. A real class act. Although, she didn't call the next day. In fact, I haven't heard from her at all since our time together. I mean, I guess she's busy. Like, she's a Broadway star about to open in a huge show, right? I mean she's got a lot on her plate right now. I'm sure it doesn't have anything to do with me. I'm just overreacting. I mean, right?? Yeah.....(Oh my God, Sutton Foster hates me.)

The interview will be seen in the Halloween episode of HX Magazine, so make sure you pick up a copy. (Or 6 copies. It's free, ya cheapskate.) We chatted about everything from Young Frank, to the Tony Awards, to reality TV (she's a huge fan), to her homo appeal, and finally, why I'm not as famous as I should be. (She brought it up.) Once it goes public this Friday (10/26), I'll go ahead and BLAHg the Uncensored Director's Cut, so you'll be able to read, exclusively, everything that really happened. Like when we played a drinking game to the Original Cast Recording of Little Women and I fell asleep in her arms, sobbing. It's fun.

Immediately following my interview, I emerged, glowing, from the stage door of the Hilton Theatre to a thunderous ovation (*crickets*), and was whisked away (by Mohammed Abbubie Ahmed and his yellow cab) to Midtown's Sossa Borella, for Mamma Mia's 6th Anniversary Celebration. It splendidly capped off a perfect evening, as did the forty-two Sangrias I had there. I was surrounded by wall-to-wall Dancing Queens, all gorg. Toward the end of the evening I was introduced to Mia's current star diva, the fabulous Ms. Caramello Carmalottee (or Carolee Carmello, as she prefers to be listed in her bio.) Caramello, who might also have been enjoying the Sangria, learned that my name was Randy Rainbow, and damn-near peed herself. She began making fun of me instantly, and introducing me to anyone who would listen, each time fabricating "amusing" little anecdotes about me. For instance, "Have you met Randy Rainbow? He's descended from a long line of leprechauns." Whatever. I guess it was that bitch, Karma Chameleon (or Karma Carmello), come to bite me in the ass, as I have been referring to the woman as "Caramello Carmalottee" since high school. Well, Ha-Ha-Ha, Caramello, ya big Broadway Star, multiple Tony, Drama League, OBIE Award Nominee, and Drama Desk winner for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Musical for Parade! Who's got the last laugh now???

You do.

From Left to Right: Randy Rainbow, Randy Rainbow's Sangria, Andy Kelso, Judy McLane, Caramello Carmalottee

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