I'd like to briefly offer my condolences to those Britney Spears fans who were subjected to her failed and depressing attempt at a return to the stage of the VMA's on MTV, which made me LOL. It was definitely premature.
She certainly looked a little better than she has in recent appearances, (which isn't saying much since recent appearances have included Britney getting drunk and shaving her own head, and Britney getting drunk and exiting a car spread eagle with her bawllz hangin' out.) But her once taut hourglass figure was looking a bit more like a big, clunky Grandfather Clock. (She has a lot of time on her ass these days.) I couldn't tell if she was attempting to lip-sync to her new single Gimme More, or just chewing her gum real hard. She was lethargically marking all of her "choreography", and she had a permanent and alarmed "What are y'all doing in my kitchen?" expression on her face throughout the performance. Scary.
It did not help matters that the cameras kept cutting to fellow celebs and other members of the audience laughing uncontrollably, fainting, or calling the police. Rihanna was catching flies in her gaping maw, and P Diddy tried to hang himself by his gold chains. It was complete anarchy. But kudos to my favorite, Sarah Silverman, who hosted the show and I believe was the first (at least publicly) to do an impersonation of Britney Spears's unmentionables. I love her.
To commemorate this sad comeback, I've dug deep into the Randy Rainbow Archives and pulled some vintage Randy Rainbow from 2000. Hair styles certainly have changed since then! But I think you'll agree that my extensions, along with my moves, far surpass what Britney was giving us last night. Now, this video was shot MINUTES after my third abortion and I hadn't lost all of the weight yet, so be kind you guysss!