Wednesday, August 1, 2007
On my walk back from lunch this afternoon, I was led by a small old lady in a house dress, who insisted on stopping at each and every phone booth along the way to vigorously finger the coin return slots, in the hopes that some poor bastard had left his hard-earned change.
What’s the deal, Old Lady? I mean, that looks like a pretty nice house dress you’re wearing. Are you really that hard up for a nickel? Or is just the thrill of the hunt? And what will you do with all this cash when you finally stumble upon the winning phone booth? Will you buy the new Kelly Clarkson? Will you blow it all on one big thing, or stretch it out on lots of little ones? Maybe you’ll put it toward a new house dress so that you have something pretty to wear the next time you’re out cruising the booths. Or perhaps you’ll cash it in right then and there to call your old friend (Millie?) and tell her that your years of searching and hard work have finally paid off.
This sort of old-woman-behavior fascinates and worries me. Is it strictly a generational thing, or will I too adopt such strange rituals when I am an old woman?
Anyway, keep trying, Grandma. Never give up hope. You might not have the extra 25 cents yet, but at least you now have AIDS from whatever the hell was in all those coin slots.