Kiss Me, Mitt

Happy Valentine's Day from me and a few of my closest long-term relationships!

Perry Little Xmas

I'm just under the wire with this one, but I promised a Christmas special, and every time a Jew breaks a promise on Christmas, an angel gets fat. So here, without further a-jew, is my holiday card to all of you. Please feel free to "regift", and accept it along with my sincerest wish that this be the start of a happy, healthy and fabulous new year for all of us. But especially for me.

To quote the famous song: "Although it's been said many times, many ways - Merry Christmas to you." (But remember now, that does not apply to infants or to senior citizens above the age of 92. That group will just have to fend for themselves.)

Oops.

Did everyone have a great weekend??? Ok, enough about you.

I was at a party this weekend with a buncha stiffs. It was pretty lame, so I left right after they closed the bar and asked me to leave, twice. The booze was cheap, the music sucked, but the guys were all over me. Here's what went down after hours.